Wow back again already?
I know right weird lol
but i wanted to put down on paper"" my intentions for the summer and up coming projects. . .
or a road map for things to come and try and give a clear view of what i plan to work on
project one is the photobook Two Days in the Alley
project two is Calling the Ancestor in collaboration with Kenya Shakoor (https://www.kenyashakoor.com/)
project three is a variety of small zins based on articles published here on my site
project four is community photo shoot with tacoma arts . . .
project five is nonprofit art collective/ gallery/ studio
whats up with the photobook?
I know i know i know i know
hmmm some internal blockages, depression, anxiety, and money has been stopping me.
being scared, not feeling safe or secure enough to work on it. most people only see what i show on instagram. people don't see how horrible my house is. at most people might get a glimpse at my unkept pups. . ..
I been working myself into the ground doing deliveries for this app called Roadie. at first it was fun and game. . . i quickly grew good at the game. . . .its like augmented reality . . .you think your earning money, but at some point you realize that youre not paying tax on this income. its a horrible job. workers at stores you deliver for treat you as less. every store is different and has different protocol for pick up. its not enough work and its not enough money for myself. sometimes i find myself working 16 hours a day. . .its not sustainable for me, i end up crashing for long periods of time that puts me behind more or again. it also costs lots of money to deliveries. Its my opion that you need to fill up at the start of everyday you want to work. sometimes on good days you need to fill up twice. gas is very expensive. unless you pack a lunch your gonna need to stop, how do you decide how much spend on lunch dinner or breakfast? every time you stop to get a drink or snack or whatever puts you behind. . . . with this sort of job you cant value your time sometimes it takes two or three hours to get a gig. . .how long can you wait before you give up pressing refresh on the app trying to get a gig. . . . i have a bout 90 minute patience meter before i give and doing something else for the day or go home to lay in bed waiting for gig. . . . . it might be time for me to try and find a regular job again, but my depression and everything really stops me. . . idk
Thats what i was dealing with, where do i go from here?
so currently the photobook is about 470 pages and i need to cut more photos from the book and thats not easy. I also been waitnig on the cover artist . . . .i think they may have been tryin to send my stuff to an old email . . . . . I think if i got the book down to 300 to 400 pages it would be good. . . . .
no matter what i want to take the book to the printer by Wed and get proto copy made. . . i know im really missing out on sales bc of my situation. its not easy, should be at home working on the book or out doing deliveries? im behind on my bills. . . i dont remember the last time was caught up on everything. . . . . . ya i dont know its not easy i live in constant fear of losing everything. . . . . i would like to announce preorders for the photo book within three weeks from today, sat jun 22, 2024. . . .i think Blue Cactus Press is wanting to work with me on my publishing and stuff, but its something we havent talked about in awhile. i guess we'll see . . .
Calling the Ancestors ?
whats up with this? . . . . . .Kenya and have sorta built out the frame work for the sort of thing we want to present to the world. . . we want to transport people to another world and present Afro-Indigenous Futurisms. . . We are leaning to the exhibit being a bit more preformitive for it being photography. we thought about creating unique installation and characters for ourself to play
for the next month or so Kenya and I are going to keep brainstorming and building out our ideas, and August/ September we should start the foundational work.
Later in the fall we should have a majority of the work and ready.
We are looking to have a zin to accompany the exhibit, and different merch.
TCC Gig has accepted our exhibit for 2025, but we hope to debut it before then. We are shooting for fall or winter this year.
I'm really greatful for Kenya reaching out to me. hmm i really dont know what brought her to ask me to co-create, but its extremely humbling. She has an impressive resume, and im just some recovering junky trying to get by. i have a life of zero accomplishments. why would suggest artist want to work with me? Surelly there are many other better photographers in the community that have aweseome history of great photos and visuals. I'm not Jack Ma, I'm not Indulgent IP/ Courtney Turnipseed, im not Epiphany Couch. idk it weird. . .but its everything i wanted to do. it weird, i feel like i need to sit in the moment appreciate what i have done. try to stay the course.
you would think that, bc its what i always wanted to do that i would be happy,
but honestly it scary.
its scary to for me to tell someone that yes i plan to live until next summer to present this project. i deal with suicidal thoughts on the regular basis. . . . .so thats been tough. i try not to think about it.
it this really weird interesting interesection . . .kenya wanted to cocreate an art exhibit, and i wanted to start a art collective, for artist to present art exhibits . . . .kenya wanted to focus less on the admiration side, and more on the personal expression. I like the idea of trying to do the exhibit thing first. its sorta of testing theory can we work together.
because of our shared interest i feel its easy for me to be myself around her, on a human friendship level its nice to be accepted and in community with like minded people. its validating for me.
project three zins zins and more zins . . .
. . . hmmm blue cactus press has epressed interest in working with me on publishing zins of articles i wrote here. . .it something we havent talked about in awhile, but with photo book coming out, i hope its something they are still interesting in. If they are not than its something i plan on doing myself, for myself. . . . for these this fall . . .
project four- not sure i can really talk much about it, but Tacoma Art has expressed interest in contracting me to work on a community photo project. . . Probably October . . . .still waiting to hear more information from them . . . .
project five? . . . Flashbang Art Collective. . .is a visual audio nonprofit bipoc art group studio gallery support . . . i have lots of thoughts about this. . . but currently its just kenya and I . . . For right now theres not much to say or do, its more like a secret club at the moment . . . i would like to think that if kenya and i are successful / even we are not, as long we have fun together than we should be looking to expaned our group and also do more out reach, and community creatives events
basiicaly evertything is happening starting this fall . . . .